Have you ever asked yourself, how are you as a parent? Or are you a good parent or not? If not, then we would like you to ask yourself, how many ratings would you give yourself when it comes to parenting? If your answer is 9 on 10 or 10 on 10, then don’t hurry it up and take some time before coming to the final conclusion. Because a random answer will be superficial, and honestly you won’t be able to answer it unless you delve into this a little deeper.
Every parent is curious to know if they are doing a good job or not, but this is something they can’t judge themselves. Because everyone thinks they are doing great but sometimes what it takes is a deep inside look and some observation by others to actually know if you are doing it right or not.
One part to get the most from kids is by being involved with them. When both teachers and parents get engaged with kids to support their learning, kids tend to perform better not in just school but in other aspects of their lives as well.
As per many studies, kids with more engaged parents are more likely to:
- Behave better
- Acquire better social skills
- Be regular at school
- Opt for more advanced and creative courses
- Score higher grades
- Know what they want to be
So here we have prepared a standard set of questions, that we would like you to consider because judging yourself as a parent.
1. Does parenting count as your top priority?
We understand that your child is always a priority but does the whole idea of parenthood also fall under that for you? Do you make time for your kids or get involved in some other tasks like work and neglect your role partially or routinely? Of course, work is important but there should be a balance between your professional and personal life. Sometimes people get so busy making a living that they forget to enjoy life with their loved ones.
If you were given a choice between reading a bedtime story to your kid or watching your favorite show? Which one would you choose? This is the prioritizing we are talking about, if you don’t give time to your kids, they will find different ways of keeping themselves occupied and when you get old. They won’t be having any time for you.
2. How strong is your bond with your children?
How often do you take your kids out? Or get involved with them when they play or perform other activities? Do you enjoy time with them or does it seem like a responsibility or burden? This is the most important question that you need to ask yourself as a parent, as it will provide you with a deep insight into how your future will look like with your kids.
When your relationship develops with your kids, it goes through many phases and there would definitely be rough times but they will only make your bond stronger. What you have to do is, whatever you do, do it with love and tenderness without considering it as a burden.
3. Do you admit it when you’re wrong? Or keep pretending to be always, right?
Are you still living in a world, where being old means being always right? Then you really need to get out of your comfort zone and widen your horizons. Because the time has changed now and kids have developed a sense of justice for themselves. They now have a desire for things to be fair in every aspect, whether it’s games, studies, or competitions.
How do you manage situations when you are at fault? Do you admit your mistakes or do you believe that admitting your mistake will prove you weak as a parent? You should always apologize when you’re wrong because children will learn from it. If you want them to admit their mistakes then you should also be honest about yours. Otherwise, every time they do something wrong, they will not admit it and continue to lie.
4. How much do you know your children?
How much do your children share with you? Whether it’s about school or friends. Are your children afraid of sharing things with you? Then it’s obviously a red flag because as a parent you should be your child’s go-to person when they are happy, excited, or sad.
Do you know what your child likes and dislikes? Areas in which they master or lack? Have you ever discussed their passions with them? What do they want to become when they grow up? Or their aspirations and role models? Kids develop an interest when they’re very young and as they grow, these preferences can be moved towards advanced directions. You will only be able to guide your kids in the right direction, when you know, which direction interests them.
5. Do you also have the qualities that you want your kids to have?
Are you a good role model for your kids? If you expect them to be honest with you and keep their promises, you should also do the same. If you want your kids to be cooperative, you should also be cooperative with them. If you don’t want your kids to talk back or use the wrong language, you should also never do it in front of them or to them.
So, kids are basically a reflection of parents, so the way you want them to treat you should be the way you treat them. You will get to see the results yourself, once you start reflecting the same qualities.
6. Do you have fun with your children? Or are you always asking about their grades?
All work and no play, obviously make kids very dull. In today’s modern life, it’s easy to get caught up in routine and not spend enough time with people who bring joy to our lives. When did you take your kids to an amusement park or a movie theatre? When was the last time you played a game with them or shared some stories from your childhood?
Are you always busy on the phone/laptop or your idea of fun is based on what you like? Then this is high time you should reconsider the ways of having fun, especially when you want your kids to be happy and have some special memories when they grow up. As ignored children seem to seek shelter somewhere else, whether it’s the internet, social media, or their peers.
7. Do you give your kids some space? Or are you always clinging around them?
Leaving your children alone does not count as ignorance. The whole concept of giving space to your children is to let them learn, evolve and solve problems on their own. So, that when they don’t have you, they can handle things on their own. Can your children get ready for school themselves? Arrange their bed, their school bag, or pack lunch?
Just think about it, if there is an emergency and you have to leave your kids alone? Would you flood your house with sticky notes or record audios with instructions about what has to be done? Rather you should teach them to be independent and let them discover things on their own. The truth is children actually enjoy a sense of responsibility and freedom. And soon you will see them become responsible and independent adults.
8. What are your main goals, when it comes to parenting?
Do you want to be an ideal parent? A workaholic one or the one who is always fun to be around with? Do you want your kids to remember you as a control freak, who always was busy worrying about grades and discipline? These questions are benchmarks for you and it’s your call, how you want to be remembered after 20-25 years from now. We often get so lost in shaping the life, behavior, and habits of our child, that we forget about our own values or morals. So, always think about how you would like your kid to remember you. Life is too short to live with stress, so be happy and make others happy, especially when they are your family.
As we have mentioned, you should consider these questions before labeling yourself as an ideal parent. And these questions should be considered at least once a year, as with time both you and your kids will change, along with the choices, decisions, and lifestyles. Apart from this, as a parent and role model, you should always be kind, gentle, understanding, flexible, and most importantly open-minded. So, you become your child’s best friend and their go-to person.